Brewster

Well it's been a few years since I've last wrote on here, and so much has happened. We have had some family situations as well as some personal situations. A major event happened on June 21, 2013, when we had to let my baby boy Brewster go to Heaven. For those of you who don't know Brewster, he was a very energetic, loving, happy, spunky Chihuahua. He loved to play, run around, heating pads, laying in the sun, and he loved to cuddle. We got him and his sister, Precious, back in 2004. They were about a month apart, and were inseparable. Precious has always had an issue with her hips. Brewster seemed to never get sick, and seemed to be in tip top shape.

Until the beginning of May. Over the past couple of months, Brewster seemed to be slowing down, having a hard time jumping up on anything, and was loosing his pep. We took him to the vet the first time, and the dr. said that it's arthritis, and prescribed him some pills. A month went by and he still wasn't getting any better; he was getting worse. We found a new vet and what he told us will change our lives, forever.

Our 9 year old little boy not only had pancreatitis, and kidney failure, but could also possibly have a tumor in his spine, which would be the reason why he has a hard time jumping. He gave him some antibiotics and pain medicine. He was very skinny, you could see his bones because he wasn't eating so he lost a few pounds and was down to 9lbs. For the next couple of weeks, Steven and I kept Brewster with us. I think Tripp knew he wasn't feeling well because he seemed sympathetic. Brewster wasn't growling at him either. Probably because he was in so much pain. I would take Brewster with me to work during the day, and sleep with him up in our bedroom, while Steven and Tripp slept downstairs. We were on a strict schedule for his medicines, and he was on a specific diet. (Actually, he would only eat chicken, so we bought and cooked 10lb chickens. We did tried hamburger and steaks too. He did chow down on the steak.)

When I would get home with Brew, I would sit on the sofa holding him, and Tripp would sometime leave the room. (To help calm Brew.) It was unbelievable the things Tripp would do, you probably wouldn't even believe me if I told you. They even got to a point where they would lay by each other with their butts touching. (If you knew these two boys, you would know that this was pretty amazing. As small as it is, they couldn't even be in the same room together with out trying to get at each other.)

So after a few weeks of this special diet, and his meds, Brewster seemed to be turning around. His ears were pointy again and he even growled and barked at Tripp. We took him back over to our parents house so he can be with his sister and the other dogs, safe in his environment. He even tried to jumped up, in his spot, on the sofa next to dad. So we knew he was getting better. We had to continue on his medicine and he even put on some weight! You didn't see his bones anymore.

Everything seemed to be looking up until one friday night when mom called us around 11-11:30pm. She thinks Brewster is having a seizure and we rush over. When we get there, Brewster can't stand, and his head is cocked to the side. I am trying to stay calm, but that seems to be impossible. Steven tries to get him to stand, but he just falls to the floor. Steven wants to give him some time to see if he will "come out of it". Ten long minutes go by, and we decide to take him to the Animal Emergency Room. They take us right back as soon as we get there.

The dr comes in and tells us that he has, Vestibular Disorder. She said since it came on so suddenly, and that he seems to have a severe case of it, he should have a quick turn around. Vestibular disease is caused by a problem with the system of balance (the vestibular system). There is a part of the vestibular system that resides outside of the brain in the inner ear and a part of the vestibular system that resides inside the brain stem. So, they can't get their balance, they have a head tilt...etc. She wanted to keep him overnight, which we were fine with. She called me early the next day, about 8:30am saying he needed a shot of pain meds and that she wanted to keep him longer, and I told her no, we were coming to get him and have him see our vet. She didn't seem to care about Brewster, only about what all she could charge us.

We took him to our vet, and he said there really isn't anything we can do but wait and hope he pulls out of it. So, Steven and I took him back home again. It had got so bad that Brewster was no longer able to get up to even go to the bathroom. All day, all he could do was lay down. We had to flip him, and we laid towels down and had to change those every few hours because he would pee and poop. He was miserable, and you can see he had no fight, or life left in him.

Friday, June 21, 2013, we took him to release him of his pain and suffering. I was a mess leading up to this. Brewster is my first dog, and he is my first dog that I have to let go. But we couldn't be selfish, it's not fair to him. He was ready. We let him say goodbye to all the dogs. (Our parents have two dogs, and his sister, Precious.) We made a paw print with him and precious in this clay heart molding that my baby sister Rachael got for us. (Good thinking Rachael!!) We laid Brewster and Precious side by side, and she kissed him and laid her head down beside him. We let them lay there for a few minutes. And then we drove up to our vet.

It was me, Steven and mom, and they took us into the room. They took Brewster to go put a catheter in his arm. Each of us held Brewster, and when they brought him back we laid him on the table. I held his head in my hand and told him what a good boy he is and how much I loved him. It was weird, a calm feeling came over me and I had stopped crying. The dr came in and preceded to give him the injection. I was petting his head, saying, "I love you," and then it was like he gasped for his last breath, scared the shit out of me! I lost it for a second, but pulled it together for him, because I needed him to go in peace, and know that it is ok.

My little baby went to sleep and is now no longer in any pain. Up in Heaven with Cinni (one of Steve's parents dog, she was like Brewster's and Precious Mama Dog, she stepped in and would take care of them, like they were hers.) and all of the other dogs that we have had to let go in our family.

We walked to the car, and I told Steven, "It's weird, I feel like a weight has been lifted. I feel like we did the right thing." "Yea, me too." And we did do the right thing. We couldn't bare to have Brewster stay here and be in pain, and not be able to even get up and go to the bathroom. We knew he was ready. He was such an amazing dog and I think about him everyday. He's my baby and always will be.

.."When you feel you can't do very much about something, do everything you can."