Daddy

It was pretty tough growing up in a family where a mother had no problems abusing her children, where a father had no problem defending his wife and telling his kids to, "Leave your mother alone, you know how she is." Knowing that his wife has psychiatric issues and ignoring getting her help. We were kids, we didn't know that this wasn't normal, that this wasn't ok to do to us, that our mother has a huge problem and doesn't ever get help. Why? Why wouldn't you believe your kids? Can't you see the bruises? Can't you see the tears? The hurt? The pain? The whole time growing up, I thought that you always protected us; until just recently. If you were protecting us; you would have stopped her, you would have believed us and would have talked to her instead of yelling at us to leave her alone.

I can't understand why you wouldn't believe your own kids. Especially, when you KNOW she is doing something wrong and all you are doing is trying to cover it up so that your relationship with her will be somewhat calm and "normal". Not caring that it is tearing your kids apart, breaking their heart, their emotions, and their self-esteem. How can you allow her to hurt your kids like that? Don't you love them? This isn't a competition on which you love more; your wife or kids... but your kids should always come first when it involves abuse.

Why couldn't you push her to get help? That would have helped and none of this would have happened or would have escalated this high. Don't you miss talking to your oldest daughter? Don't you miss seeing her? Spending Holidays with her? Why are pushing your kids away? You are the only one who has the power to get mother help and you chose not to. I know your life isn't easy with her. I know you want to be happy and your not. 

I'm not sure why you are punishing yourself. You deserve to have a life that you enjoy and that makes you happy. You deserve so much good because you are such a good person when it comes to anything else but your wife. I wish I could understand. I need you to finally validate us; I need you to see us, to listen to us, and to hear us. And I need to know that what we say really matters to you and that you care.

I am reaching out to you. Of course, I want to keep you in my life. I want to see you, I want to call and talk to you and spend holidays together. But I can only do so much. It's not fair that you only call me on your way to work, so you don't have to hear it from your wife. It’s not fair that whenever I call you, you won’t answer because of your wife. It's not fair that you have to "check your schedule" in order for me to see you. It's not fair that even though I have made it clear that I don't want my mother in my life at all, that you still allow her to win, and to keep you from seeing and talking to me. It’s coming to a point where if that is what you are going to choose, then I am going to have to let you go because I love you, but I can’t keep putting myself through all this heartache.